With Ten Fingers I Let Him Go!

"In adversity keep motivated, for often the best comes from difficulty." (Norman Vincent Peale)

I once heard the story of a young boy who discovered a caterpillar. He placed it in a safe place and waited for the caterpillar to transform into a butterfly. Within a few days the worm eventually inside the cocoon took on it's form. The butterfly began to break its way through the cocoon. (If you’ve ever watched this process you know that it is always a struggle for the determined insect.) The boy looked on with compassion as the butterfly struggled to free itself. Eager to try and help, the youngster clipped away part of the cocoon with his pocket knife, hoping this would make it easier for it to break loose. The butterfly emerged, but to the boy’s disappointment it couldn’t fly. You see butterflies strengthen their wings by flapping them: penetrating their tiny bodies through the cocoon wall. The butterfly needed to face the struggle, flapping, pushing relentlessly, in order to develop it's wings to fly.

As parents, sometimes we find ourselves doing the same thing to our children. Trying to shield them from struggle and pain we limit their potential to fly high. 

Let’s face it, life is full of adversity and disappointment and if you have kid's over the age of 5 you realize that they are certainly not exempt. The bible says in James “"Consider it pure joy, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

I am not suggesting we invite pain into their lives, but when it does come instead of intervening hastily, we should consider how to handle it, God's way. There will be times when we must and should step in, to protect them from evil intentions and schemes of the enemy, but shielding our children from everything that does not bring them joy will only stunt the growth and development of their wings and God's purpose for their lives.

For this is what the bible refers to as “the testing of their faith” and it is a necessary part of God’s purpose for development.  When we cut into the cocoon to rescue our child, we are denying them the chance to fly!  Instead of interfering, learn to direct them to the ONE who will always be there to walk through those struggles with them, even when we cannot be there ourselves. 

How else will they develop the skills they need to handle life’s challenges? How will they learn to trust in God to comfort and direct them? 

Romans 9:17

"I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth."

Reflection: Oh my friends I have been so guilty in this area of parenting. Who likes to watch their child being wrongfully overlooked, intentionally excluded, or purposefully targeted? Not one single mother I know!!!!! But isn’t it a fact of life that age, race, or gender will never exclude us from persecution, adversity and pain? Now is the time to teach our children how to wage war against the enemy in the spiritual realm before it’s too late and they are handicapped by our good intentions, missing the real purpose of God. When trails, disappointment, and adversity come (and they will!) join with your child and bombard heaven in agreement prayer. Be ready to see God move on your behalf and expect your child’s wings to strengthen! Oh He is an amazing God!!!!

Happy Mother's Day!

 Polly

Just Yesterday!

It's seems like Just Yesterday, my 4 year old darted around the corner of his room securely holding his piggy bank that he had filled mostly with coins and a few twenties from his grandparents.  It was so heavy he had trouble getting up into the car without my help. If I remember correctly he said, "There has to be $300 in here Mom, it's heavy." I chuckled as I tossed him in his car seat before making our trip to open up his first savings account. I watched him the entire drive there as he kept his little chunky hands securely clutched around his prized possession. He was so stinkin' cute. When we arrived and entered the bank lobby, some of the tellers behind the counter took notice of my little man carrying his heavy piggy bank. He was proud and they could tell! Several of them made a few comments and one older man in particular dressed in overalls and a flannel shirt bent down to whisper, "Son with good habits like this you'll be a wealthy man one day." A few moments after the gentlemen left my 4 year old turned to me and whispered, "Mom, what's a habit?" (Ha, that still makes me laugh.)


Eventually it was our turn and we walked into the office. Noah gently placed the piggy bank on the desk. The employee chuckled and smiled, I'm sure she could tell this was a big moment for my little man, and she played along. She greeted Noah with a hand shake and asked, "Mr. Herrin are you wanting to open up a savings account?" His little head nodded yes. She handed me some paperwork grabbed the piggy bank and said, "Mom you fill these out for Mr. Herrin and I'll be right back." From the look on Noah's face and the tears welling up in his brown eyes I could tell he was concerned about his life savings,"Where is she going with my bank?", he asked as he jumped out of his seat to follow her. I grabbed his arm pulling him back to my lap and reassured Noah his money was secure. I explained that the employee was putting it in the bank and locking it up for him. Several minutes later she came back with a total, "It's just a little over $130, hey that's a great start" handing Noah his receipt. Noah's eyes got big and he smiled. We thanked her for her help and with that she extended her hand again towards my little 4 year old and said, "Thank you Mr. Herrin for doing business with us. We look forward to serving you in the future."   The hand shake settled it and my little man had just completed his first business transaction. 

After that initial deposit, we kind of forgot about the savings account for a few years as life got busier and we added to our family. Until his 11th birthday, that birthday was a significant one for me. It was then I realized my little man was now really -  a little man. The thought of becoming the parent of a teenager excited me but also terrified me and for the first time I felt overwhelmed at the responsibility that awaited and the loss of time gone by. I determined that day it was necessary to get busy so I developed parenting goals for myself jotting down areas I knew I really needed to put my focus. Over the next couple of months Torrey and I set out to teach Noah the principle of tithing (Leviticus 27:30) and the rewards of saving. I also taught him about debits, credits, ledgers and balancing and I was delighted to hear he was learning the same thing in school. It wasn't much longer after that, Noah's bank statement verified he had a little more than a thousand dollars in his account, together we accomplished much!

Month after month when the bank statement would arrive, we would together take note and celebrate the new "bigger' balance. His account finally reached $1500 dollars, and I think at that point a light bulb went off in Noah's mind and he was excited about the rewards of saving and determined to keep doing it. I'm sure his little sister also added to his motivation as she would taunt him with threats like, "I'm gonna have more money than you next month..." You can hear the tone can't you?  It really was fun watching the two of them compete to save more.


Now twelve years later since our first trip to the bank and what seems like "just yesterday", all of the hard work has paid off. This weekend Noah purchased his first car (With the exception of about 20% that we added). This car is exactly what he had hoped for, prayed for and worked for.  

I can't even begin to go into the details of God's favor and blessing that went into the purchase of the car, not to mention the great insurance rate we were able to obtain. Once again, God showed up and for that I am eternally grateful. He always comes through when we commit our efforts to Him and acknowledge Him with our first fruits. 


So today as I reminisce on this journey I am beaming with pride to see my son finish well and achieve a long-term goal that once seemed so far away. But I would be lying if I didn't tell you my heart is sad too at the realization that our rides together will be much less now and how terribly I'm gonna miss those conversations. (tears, tears) -----------(I am running to get a tissue and a drink of water to help swallow this large lump in my throat.)


Ahh, the pain of parenting....for years we give our best to love them, teach them, encourage them and prepare them, only to LET THEM GO to be all God has called them to be. We have to remember, this is all part of God's plan and His plan is always perfect! So today I celebrate with Noah this new beginning as I release another finger on my grip and out of my own heartache, I pray for all the other parents who find themselves exactly where I am. 


Thank God my baby girl is still eleven!