Monday, February 28, 2011

Abercrombie Who? - My daughter is worth more!

As the parent of a teenage son (now 16) I haven't had much pressure to "fight" the fashion world as some of my other "mom" friends. But I have heard many horrific stories about the battle to find decent clothing for teenage girls.

However, the time has come when I am now noticing my daughter's once "blocked & chubby" formed figure starting to slim down. The curves are taking shape, becoming visible through most attire she wears.  I realize teens mature physically at different stages, but it seems most of her friends are taking on different shapes too. Curves and more curves! I have concluded that all these noticeable physical changes, is a huge warning sign for me. I recognize effortless shopping days are quickly becoming a thing of my past!  And the more time I spend in the malls shopping with her, the more I am convinced I should have listened to my older & wiser friend and taken those sewing lessons years ago. Have you seen the itty-bitty shorts available in name brand stores? (I don't have to name those stores, most begin with the letter "A") Anyway, they make Daisy Dukes (from the Dukes of Hazards) look like she's wearing nickers!

On one of our recent trips to the mall, my daughter found a t-shirt she wanted to try on from one of the above mentioned stores, it was cute very simple, and white. Once she got it on,  she was so embarrassed she wouldn't even come out of the dressing room but murmured behind the door, "no mom I need a different color." So, I found the same shirt in a different color and handed it to her over the door. A few seconds later, she came out of the dressing room, hands crossed over her chest. Immediately I could see  the problem wasn't the color of the shirt, it was the material. It was just too thin to conceal anything!  I didn't have to convince Karson of that observation either. I realized the indecency bothered her to the point she didn't even feel comfortable for her own mother (me) to see her. An innocence I plan to protect!

She came out put her hands on her hips and said, "Mom every shirt I have tried on is too thin. I don't want a shirt you can see right through to my bra. I hate these!"  Yes ---I nodded agreeing! I quickly responded back, "I hate them too!" With a roll of her eyes she turned to head back in the dressing room, but noticed a poster hanging on the wall behind her, she pointed to it.  (You have to know my daughter, she doesn't hide her opinions. Her jaw hung down, eyes wide opened and with her facial expression she was letting me know she disapproved.) The picture was of a young girl maybe 15 wearing a white bathing suit. Behind her stood a boy, he was draped over her body kissing her neck. His hands were tucked in to the bottom portion of the young teen girl's bathing suit. A scene exclusively reserved for the bedroom and most definitely inappropriate for any teenager. I wasn't about to leave the store without letting a manager know that the indecent advertisement on the dressing room stall was uncalled for and an offense to me AND my daughter.

Needless to say, we didn't buy any t-shirts or shorts that day! I left disappointed and angry at the fashion industry and conclusive that I had arrived at a place I was dreading for a long time. On our way home, I questioned my ability to handle this "soon to be", on going battle with the fashion world? Karson and I had a long talk and I convinced her that she and I would be on a mission to make it a point to find clothes that she felt comfortable in, even if that meant she had to wear jeans and/or long pants to school & church.

Many other parents feel the same frustrations. You may be one of them. I began to search the Internet to find a name or contact person for the store, I wanted to send them an email or letter voicing my concerns for their inappropriate marketing posters  and the clothing selection they are offering to young teens. Upon my research I came across a lot of other parent links, protests, email campaigns all directed in stopping the fashion industry from perverting our teenage girls. Do a search yourself, you will be surprised. In my googling I came across a wonderful letter that inspired me to take action. I have made a copy of it below:

Dear Abercrombie,
You bore me. (Yawn, Yawn and double yawn) Your latest attempt to clothe our girls in trashy t-shirts like the one picture below is so very UNORIGINAL. Don't you remember? You tried the trashy t-shirt campaign already once before. Seems I remember it was right on the heels of the launch of your thong underwear to girls under 15. Who can forget the disturbing messages printed on the front like "wink, wink" and "eye candy"? Probably not the dads of the girl you marked the line to I imagine. All that to say I am not sure what led you to resurrect the old trashy t-shirt campaign, but I am guessing it's a last ditch attempt to bet back in the news. 







Which leads me to ask....is that old-enough-to-be-a-grand-pa, MICHAEL JEFFRIES still running your company? Did anyone tell him that it's no longer even considered fashionable to dress like a hoochie? It's sooooo yesterday, as in Britney-what's-her-name kinda yesterday. If you see Mr. Jeffries, tell him I have an idea for a radical marketing stunt: If he has a grand-daughter (and he very well may since he's in his mid sixties), would he be willing to do a photo shoot with his little princess wearing one of the trashy tee's above? Maybe he could stand next to her with his arm around her and do a cheesy thumb's up sign. Just an idea?


My guess is that he's feeling a bit desperate as of late, since net sales for the month of August 200 fell 23% from sales posted in August of 2008. Some analysts are even buzzing that A&F is past it's company sell-by date and bankruptcy may be just around the corner. So sad! It must be very tense around there. I imagine you guys are chalking up the sales decline to the struggling economy. While that may be a major variable, another cause could be your over-the-top "SEX SELLS" campaigns. While I am disappointed that you would once again attempt to resurrect the trashy-tee campaign, in a way, I'm also kind of glad. I personally see this as the final nail in your company coffin. Because he, everyone knows that when sales are down you go to desperate lengths to offend what little is left of your customer-base right? In the meantime, just know that moms like me will remain vigilant in equipping our daughters to identify marketing campaigns that prey on the insecurities of young women. And more importantly, we will encourage our girls to close their wallets to key offenders such as your company. And for that reason your days are numbered buddy --- mark my words.


Signed,
Vicki (last name) ----- I will be posting this on my FB and I hope it travels fast Mr. Jeffries!

I am determined along with this valiant mother, not only to keep my wallet closed from stores who try to pervert my daughter's self image and pure morals, but I also took it a step farther by sending a letter to the Executive office, letting them know that the clothing selection they offer is in complete violation of the school district my children attend. I mentioned that I would be posting this information on my BLOG and FACEBOOK asking others to take aggressive action against clothing stores who continue to dismiss our parental concerns. I hope you will do the same!

It's time we make our voices heard, our daughters are so worth it!

 Polly

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Way Over Dressed!

Joyce Meyer: "If you are all wrapped up in yourself, you are way overdressed!

I was standing in line at the bank Monday in a little bit of a hurry, but I only had three people in front of me so I didn’t expect to be long. The entrance door to the bank was behind me so unless I turned around I couldn’t see anyone enter. I was minding my own business thinking about the next stop I had to make when my thoughts were interrupted by a woman’s voice. She spoke loud enough for everyone in the bank lobby to hear, (I am paraphrasing but trying to keep it close) “I have never seen so many handicap parking spaces in front of one building in all my life and not one of them is filled. I had to park my Lexus in the next parking lot 30 spaces from the door and walk. Why do they have 4 parking spaces allotted to handicaps? They should exchange one handicap spot out there for people with money and call it VIP parking! Goodness.”

Right then I knew I had already heard enough of this lady. The facial expression from the others around me led me to believe they had too. The tellers were all distracted by her arrogant remarks, as they rolled their eyes at one another and whispered behind the bulletproof glass. It was about to get better.

I turned around along with everyone else, to see who could be the owner of such hideous remarks. To my disappointment I knew her! (I don’t mean we were friends but a casual acquaintance with a mutual friend.) I quickly turned back so she couldn't make eye contact. I was afraid she would notice me and I didn’t want any of these people to think I was in any way associated with her.

By then she had made her way to the back of the line still complaining all the while. She griped about the wait in line and commented to her friend that there should be more employees working especially during the lunch hour when most people visited the bank. About that time one of the tellers walked through the lobby with her lunch tote in hand headed to the entrance door, obviously headed for lunch break, leaving only two tellers working. Of course most of us in line were disappointed she was leaving, which is usually the case when you’ve been waiting for a while, but hey, we understood she deserved a lunch break and we were letting the woman leave in peace. Until…

”Ms. Thang” behind me caught a glimpse of her exiting and objected!

“Excuse me,” she directed the comment to the teller heading out the door. “And where do you think your going? I hope you aren’t considering leaving for lunch break when you have a line of nine people waiting for your assistance.”

I was mortified; I could not believe this woman. Who was she trying to impress? What was she trying to prove?

I couldn’t imagine the scene getting any worse and by now everyone in the entire branch was looking at her. The young teller without hesitation opened the bank door and out she went, never even acknowledging the woman. The “friend” who accompanied this arrogant woman, now decided to get involved and she blurted out, “Where’s the manager? Is this the kind of respect you get here at your bank? Can’t these small town people recognize money when they see it?” (We heard more laughing and cackling from the two of them.)

Every second I stood there I was more embarrassed for her because I knew that once I turned around and she recognized me, she would feel horrible that I observed her obnoxious behavior and cruel words. But it was inevitable. I finished my transaction and turned to leave when the teller said, “Thank you Mrs. Herrin have a nice afternoon.” I responded back, “you do the same” and about that time my eyes looked up and caught the women’s eyes. She put on a big smile and spoke instantly, “Well hey there girl, how are you doing?”

I mustered up a “Good, thanks!” but was determined to keep walking out the door and before I could, she was already making conversation, “Isn’t this crazy?”  she motioned towards the line with her hand, “Poor customer service is what you call it. They’ll be sorry when I pull my money out of this bank.” I really had no comment for her, instead I wished I had a sign with the word "RUDE" on it,  that I could have pulled out of my purse.

I was again disappointed that now she really felt no remorse or embarrassment and I knew in my heart I wasn’t about to encourage her negativity so I didn’t even acknowledge her question and instead replied, “Hope your day gets better” and out the door I went.

I am convinced there are some people in this world who really think, “It’s All About Them!” They don’t play by the rules we learned in kindergarten to: share, tell the truth, speak kindly, and play nice. They value people based upon how much money is in their bank account and voice their opinions on any matter regardless of how it might make someone feel. They are arrogant, vain, and prideful and without the grace of God to intervene, they will bring destruction upon themselves.

Proverbs 16:18, Proverbs 8:13, Proverbs 11:2, I Samuel 2:3, Isaiah 2:11


I'm not sure if the "arrogant woman" will read my blog or even knows I have one. But if she stumbles upon it she will certainly recognize herself. When she does, I pray she will also recognize that she is way "OVERDRESSED"! 

Polly

Thursday, February 10, 2011

I Love You Torrey



I Love You Torrey!
1993 we were engaged and quickly approaching marriage.

February 12, 1988 started a journey I will forever be grateful to God for. That evening in Cleveland, TN I went on my first date with the man I have been married to for almost 18 years, my husband Torrey. So today I want to celebrate all that he is and has been to me.
Torrey, helped coach our girl's intramural softball at Lee. We won this game! I love this picture because it was the following day after our first date. Don't know why we didn't take pictures of the first date? Yeah that's me behind the glove. Ha!


Torrey, I consider you the greatest blessing bestowed upon me by our heavenly Father, immediately followed by Noah and Karson, equally. You have been an answer to a young girls prayer who just wanted to “do the will of Her Father”. Little did I know when I said yes what all that would encompass! (Haaa! I love you. J
This was our two year anniversary and I was pregnant with Noah.

You make me smile when no one else can; you applaud all my successes, encourage me through all my disappointments and support me in all of my endeavors. Thank you for allowing me to dream and for your continual encouragement to move forward to pursue those dreams. I am enticed by your charming ways and the gentlemen you are. I never tire of being treated like a lady. Your love for our children amazes me and it makes me love you even more. Your commitment to lead our family in the way of the Lord is so attractive. I love to hear you pray over us and see you unashamedly worship our creator. Your leadership is bold and fearless and you make no excuses for your obedience to God, regardless of who and what our critics may say.


Twenty-two years has quickly gone by…. (18 yrs of marriage 4 years dating) We have grown together spiritually and emotionally. Of course we have weathered some difficult seasons, which we thought would never go away, but our commitment to each other and to our Savior is what sustains us. My Nana was right when she told me, “You picked the right one!”

My heart still skips a beat every time you reach over to hold my hand or when you wink at me from across a crowded room. You are amazing and I love you more and more with every passing day.

I know that to you “our song” has always been “Everything I Do, I Do It For You" by Bryan Adams.
But I feel the song that best describes my feelings toward you goes something like this:


Because You Loved Me (by Celine Dion)

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful, baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through
Through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me, ooh, baby

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love, I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe, I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because
I was loved by you

You were always there for me, the tender wind that carried me
The light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

I'm everything I am…….Because you loved me!



Polly

Friday, February 4, 2011

Secret Motives



Proverbs 11:3 says, “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.”

Integrity can be defined as “the quality of being honest and upright”. (Taken from the Meriam Online Dictionary) Basically, integrity is a oneness between our mind and our actions. A woman of integrity practices what she preaches and this isn’t just for those called to the pulpit.  A woman of integrity has nothing to hide or cover up. Her motives are pure; she is genuine, upright and real in her relationships. There is nothing “hidden or concealed”.

Duplicity on the other hand is deliberate deceptiveness. It’s the enemy of integrity. In today’s terms we call this woman, “two-faced, deceptive, fraudulent”. A woman of duplicity is like a seasoned poker player who conveys messages with her words that are in complete opposite from her thoughts.  As a matter of fact it would surprise you what is really on her mind and the pretentious motives she conceals.
On the surface a woman of integrity and a woman of duplicity may appear the same. The differences are visible only through the Holy Spirit’s discernment. But taking a closer look at what’s she’s trying to hide under her polished couture, could disappoint you.

For example, let’s consider a woman we will call Delilah, an expert at duplicity. She does not want to appear too aggressive or too assertive, but never underestimate her determination to get her way. Delilah doesn’t want anything to do with her husband’s office friends. So when the offer arises for her to come along on a weekend planning retreat she quickly falsifies her excuse to her husband, “I have so much to do to finish for the birthday party later in the month. I just don’t see how I could ever fit this extra weekend in. I’m sorry honey.” Duplicity at it’s finest.

So what’s the big deal you ask?  No one was really harmed by Delilah’s deceptive scheme. And what if her husband was disappointed and felt like the odd-man out is that such a bad thing?  The big deal is God hates duplicity! He hates it when our secret motive is to manipulate, control an opinion, seek revenge or promote division. False motives and hidden plotted schemes are never concealed from his view, because He is omniscient. And in case you would like to argue this case with me you should read what He has to say about this behavior:

 “Woe to you teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.” (Matt 23) (More scriptures Proverbs 12:22, II TIm 3:1-5, Matt 7:15 are just a few.)

Yet even after God’s warnings many will continue to parade around in their “cloaks of holiness” perverting the very essence of Christianity justifying their behavior and daring someone to call them on it.

It’s time women of integrity rise to the battlefield and declare war against duplicity and her deceptive schemes. We must hold this spirit accountable and without apology, before we find our churches filled with “dead men’s bones” and “white washed tombs” and we can no longer distinguish the difference.

In the end “all that is done in secret will be exposed” (Ecc 12:14 and Romans 2:6)

Are you pretending to be something you’re not? Do you find yourself manipulating, lying, or being deceitful in anyway? Is your private life different then the life you would like others to see? If so take this notice as God’s loving warning. He always warns us before He sends judgment, Oh I love that about my God.


Polly