I Don't Deserve Him

I was awakened this morning at 4:27 am. The house was quiet. I sat up in the bed and adjusted my eyes to the darkness. Why was I awake?


I made my way into the kitchen to get a glass of water, stopping off at the couch to recline. As I lay there I was comforted by the words of this song: Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong they are weak but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me, the bible tells me so.


I started to sing it aloud in my faint and sleepy voice and after a few times through the chorus, I could feel His presence. A melodious and satisfying presence of an almighty God who brought confidence in the midst of doubt; He attended my soul. 


My mind can not comprehend, the God of this universe who spoke the world into existence, longs for my fellowship. He delights in me. He wages in the spirit on my behalf, "sitting at the right hand of the Father making intercession for His children". 


I knew at that moment, it was God who woke me up.


The same God who walked on water, healed a woman with the issues of blood, turned water into wine, gave sight to blind Bartimaeus and raised Lazarus from the dead has comforted, shielded, and protected me and mine. He turned my crooked paths straight and resurrected my life. I am more than confident in His plan for the future, because He has never failed me yet and because...He loves me!


He is amazing, all powerful, omnipresent, omniscient, supreme, deliverer and my strong tower. He is my peace, my hope, my confidence, my security, my everlasting Father, my redeemer, yet also my friend. 


I recognize the enemy is continually on a mission to keep God's children distracted, defeated and hurt. He is angered when in the midst of turmoil and persecution we stand in confidence in God's love. He despises lips that profess, "God is good", when the outside circumstance threaten to destroy. Yet I am here to declare to the enemy I shall never forfeit my right to praise my Lord. For He has brought me too far. He's answered too many of my prayers. He's made a way when there was no way. He is my rock and all that I am is because of Him.


Every moment in His presence keeps me yearning for more and everyday that He moves on my behalf, my confidence is heightened. He's so intoxicating I am addicted to His love. I just can't get enough of Him. He satisfies my soul with good things and everyday I am reminded of His love for me. No, I definitely don't deserve Him but I'm so glad He's mine!

written by: Polly Herrin